It’s all their fault!

About six years ago, I lost a lot of weight. For a while I’d been concerned about my weight but had never managed to do anything about it.

One day, I had an epiphany. I suddenly realised that nobody else had made me gain weight – it was all down to my own actions. Given I had done this to myself, I suddenly realised that only I could undo it.

Having had this epiphany, I then had a choice: was I going to wallow in self-pity or pull my socks up and deal with the issue? I chose the latter: it took a long time and was jolly hard work but I did it. Family and friends supported me but ultimately it was my choice and my responsibility.

Sometime it’s easier to blame other people:

If they’d only appreciate what I do, I’d be paid what I’m worth.

If they’d just interview me, they’d offer me the job there and then.

If only they’d sort out the economy, I’d be loads better off.

Recently I wrote about a way we can analyse which parts of a problem are within our control. We can feel hugely frustrated when those people in control don’t make the choices we’d like them to make. I think that’s the point at which we can choose to just give in and accept the situation or we can look for a way to allow us to exercise some control and take action.

If you don’t feel your salary is adequate, what can you do? We all know that it’s not as easy as just going in and asking for a pay rise: many people are just delighted to have a job and will sit out this period of economic uncertainty without rocking the boat. However, for some people, it’s imperative to improve your earning potential. How can you make this happen? Brush up your skills to make yourself more valuable to the business? Look for an internal transfer to a role with a clearer progression?

If you feel you can’t develop any further in your current role, what action can you take? Update your CV so you’re ready to apply for an amazing job that comes up? Keep in touch with your network to ensure you hear about any opportunities as soon as possible? Meet with an agency to discuss options?

If you’re frustrated with the effect the economy is having on your standard of living, what can you do to take control? Go on comparison sites to see if you could save money on your utility bills? Look at different bank accounts to improve your interest rates? Walk to work instead of paying for petrol and parking?

Is this making sense? It reminds me of the Holstee Manifesto which is all about us taking charge of our lives.

Today’s pebble for your consideration:

Will you choose to take action or is it ‘all their fault’?


Turning over pebbles is the blog of Thinking Space Coaching. 

If you’d like to make progress in your work and life, why not email me to see how we can work together?

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