Like ‘why’, I think ‘should’ can be an emotive word.
‘Shouldn’t you have submitted that report already?’
‘Should you be working on your PDP?’
‘Shouldn’t the children be in bed by now?’
‘Shouldn’t I be able to run 10k faster than this?’
There’s an implied judgement in all these questions, isn’t there? There’s a subtext of ‘because I think you (or ‘I’) should’.
There are times when we know we should do something and we choose not to, for one reason or another. Sometimes we substitute ‘should’ for ‘must’ or ‘must not’: the law doesn’t tell us that we shouldn’t exceed the speed limit and I’m pretty certain that the Ten Commandments don’t suggest ‘thou should not covet thy neighbour’s wife’.
However, there are times when someone else’s ‘should’ isn’t right for us. One example of this relates to our goals. Back here, I talked about how important it is that our goals aren’t someone else’s. Whether your goal is to learn to use Photoshop, to lose 5kg, to start your own business, to swim the Channel or to move to Australia, it’s only really your goal if it’s aligned to your needs, your passion and your vision.
So today’s pebble for your contemplation is this:
Is that goal authentically yours or have you set it because you think you should?
I’d love to hear from you,
Turning over pebbles is the blog of Thinking Space Coaching.
If you’d like to make progress in your work and life, why not email me to see how we can work together?